Most Women’s Self Defence Courses Only Reflect 13% of Men’s Assaults on Women

Earlier this year, my teacher Grandmaster Andrew Sands asked me to create a women's self defence course to be initially run at a local women's health centre, which will later be available at our dojang. With almost forty years of martial arts under his belt, Grandmaster Sands is obviously an expert in self defence; and he is also forward thinking. He realised that the women's self defence course he designed over thirty years ago whilst ahead of itself at the time, needed updating to meet the ever evolving needs of women. However, I would argue that Grandmaster Sands's original course is still ahead of most other women's self defence courses on offer.

There is a lot more social data available now than there was thirty years ago and that information is now readily available. Furthermore, my teacher and I have had discussions over the last couple of years of some of the subjects my sociology studies, and these subjects address the very places where women's self defence courses usually fail. 

Accordingly, it is imperative that these courses be designed to cater to the legitimate needs of women. In Australia, approximately 87% of men's assaults on women occurred by a man the woman knows. Furthermore, approximately 70% of men's assaults on women occur in a residential premises. In contrast, only 42% of men’s assaults of other men occurred by someone they knew, and only 26% of men’s assaults of other men occurred in a residential premises. This means that if your women’s self defence course is aimed at women protecting themselves from strangers, then you are only catering to 13% of of your clients. Let’s say that number again; 13% (Australian Bureau of Statistic 2023). 

Historically, the number of men who are black belts and masters in martial arts is greater than those who are women. Therefore, it makes sense that women’s self defence courses have mostly been designed by men. Most of these men have wonderful intentions, they want to help women. These men recognise the need for women to be able to defend themselves. The problem though when designing these courses, men can only imagine being assaulted from their own point of view, which is why most women’s self defence courses are more likely to reflect the data on men’s assaults on other men.

Prior to designing our pilot women’s self defence course, I enlisted the help of fellow black belt Kate from our dojang. What then followed was countless hours of sociological research, hours of scaffolding, several hours of pub-testing physical defence moves on Grandmaster Sands, and black belts Master Steve, and Phil, plus countless hours of putting it all together. 

One of the most important things we found is that due to the differences in the way girls and boys are socially conditioned, the most important thing you can teach women is how to assert themselves. I can hear some of you scoffing now. The reality however is that even the most confident women will often buckle when someone asks them an intrusive question. Historically, girls have been conditioned to be polite and do what they are told. Women find themselves frozen then answering the very question that has made them uncomfortable. Taoist nun Kasia Urbaniak refers to this as “the freeze”, and states that “the freeze doesn’t just limit our voices, it limits our perception, or ability to gauge the safety of an interaction” (Urbaniak 2020, p. 223). Accordingly, many women have found themselves in bad relationships, or other bad situations, simply because a man was able to push that first boundary, which in turn leads to the next boundary being pushed. 

Furthermore, whilst it is great to teach women how to block, punch, and kick, women’s self defence courses do not usually address the flight, fight, freeze response. Most women will be able to tell you of a time they felt stress or trauma and froze in the situation. This is why it is so dangerous to say to a victim “why didn’t you just say no” or “why didn’t you tell him to stop.” If you do not address this freeze response and teach women about grounding techniques, then there is not much point in teaching the rest.

Additionally, it is important to address all types of abuse. All types of abuse cause harm. All abuse is rooted in disrespect and inequality. All abusers abuse others in order to control them. All types of abuse often lead to physical assault. One of our black belts who is a man and who was not involved in the building of our pilot women’s self defence course innocently referred to our course as “your ladies self defence against domestic violence.” The 87% does not only include a woman’s spouse, it also includes family members, colleagues, former friends, men a woman has rejected, some who become stalkers; and any other type of man a woman knows. Referring to the data does not make a women’s self defence course a domestic violence course, it makes it a complete women’s self defence course. But to clarify, we also addressed the 13% in our course. What we have designed is a beginner level holistic women’s self defence course. It was an eight week pilot program and by the end of it, 28% of participants had already reported that they had successfully used the non-physical strategies we had taught them during a confrontation in their personal lives.

Lastly, it is important that women’s self defence courses empower women to take up space and not teach women to silence themselves. If your martial arts school runs a women’s self defence program, then I encourage you to evaluate what you are teaching.

A very special thank you to Kate Emmerick in partnering with me to build our level one women’s self defence course. Thank you also to Grandmater Andrew Sands, Master Steve Best, and black belt Phil Thomas.

For more information on Kasia Urbaniak’s work, see her Ted Talk.

References:

Australian Bureau of Statistics (2023) ‘Physical Violence’, 23 August, https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/physical-violence/2021-2022, Accessed 25 August 2023.

Urbaniak, K. (2020) A Woman’s Guide to Power Unbound.

London: Penguin Random House UK.